This has not been a particularly easy week, or a particularly good one. I'm glad it's over.
We have had hot weather this week, and our heat pump broke at the end of the week before. This means that the inside of our house is much hotter than the outside. If we leave butter out, it melts. Our refrigerator stopped working for a while (copycat crime?). Miranda is too hot to do dishes (so Tim and I get to do them). We sleep with no covers and a fan going and wake up sticky with sweat. And everybody is cranky.
To fix the situation could cost upwards of $10,000 so we are looking into various financial things we could do - and that makes us crankier. Having to spend large sums of money for something other than entertainment is always a bummer.
Tim has had some particularly bad days this week. He was so mad on one day that he totally trashed his room. He took every box, drawer, etc. and dumped it all over the floor, and then ripped the covers off his bed, and threw the mattress around the room. I think he put some dents in the walls and door, but I haven't been able to get into his room to see for sure.
Bill has not felt well this week. He has cracked another rib, and this one is particularly painful. He also has either a UTI or another stone passing. He has been putting in much too much work moving boxes into the garage, and packing boxes with knick-knacks, and packing boxes with books, and moving more boxes. None of which is good for his ribs. He hasn't been sleeping well because of the pain and the heat - and this contributes to his lack of patience when he is dealing with Tim. Not that he has very much patience with him at the best of times.
I have also not been sleeping well. I have a lot of leg aches, and it is difficult to get comfortable when I go to bed. In addition, the heat is rough, especially since I wear wrist braces. This has resulted in my not getting enough sleep, so I have had a tough time getting through work without my head dropping down onto my desk for a snooze. The end result was that on Sunday I slept for 11 hours straight and totally missed all my church meetings.
I haven't played any computer games this week, but I did weaken enough to check on my Guild Wars characters that had had birthdays to see what mini-pets they had received. I wasn't actually PLAYING, just looking. Although I still find myself at times sitting in front of the computer wondering what to do next since I shouldn't play games.
I have kept up on my scripture reading, but I'm going through the Isaiah passages in Second Nephi, which means I'm not understanding most of it. And for FHE last night we watched "The Music Man". Everybody was too hot and tired to try to do a regular lesson.
So - there is a lot of room for improvement. We have a couple of heating/air conditioning experts coming over this week, and an appointment with Sears to check out our refrigerator (it's running again, but it really needs to be serviced).
I'm not sure why I bother blogging this, as I know that my daughter is the only one who will read it, and I could just as easily tell her this over the phone, but she has begged me to blog occasionally so I am obliging her. Although today it makes me cranky.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Time for Reflections
I have been doing a lot of thinking about the Second Coming of Jesus Christ recently. Chad Daybell wrote a series of five books that is a fictionalized account of three families living through these times. I am in the middle of rereading them. I have also been reading "A Thief in the Night" which goes over the signs and warnings - and what we need to do to be ready for them.
For some reason, this has really touched my heart, and I have been giving this a lot of thought. In the first book of the Chad Daybell series "The Great Gathering", the prophet issues a call to the saints to just drop everything in their lives and assemble at campsites that have been set aside for this purpose (hence the title - the Great Gathering). While many of the saints do just walk out of their homes with the bare necessities, abandoning jobs and possessions, many more do not. At the time the economy seems to be great, and it seems to be just an alarmist call.
As I am reading this, I am thinking to myself - "Well, I would totally do whatever the prophet said. We would definitely go off to the camp. We wouldn't be one of those people who rationalized such a commandment away."
And then, as I read through the "Thief in the Night" book, I became aware of just what is really required of us. It isn't to pick and choose which commandments we would follow. It is to follow ALL of them. Would I really just drop everything to rough it in a camp when I can't even discipline myself enough to go to my church meetings? After all, attending our church meetings is a commandment too. Sure I'm tired after working the night before, but is that really a good enough excuse? If it is, then I am sure that I could find all kinds of excellent excuses for not following the prophet's orders.
How about keeping the Sabbath Day holy? I actually gave a Family Home Evening lesson on this recently, but things haven't changed very much. I'm not playing computer games on Sunday anymore, but that is more because I am not playing computer games at all for the moment. (More on that later)
And lets look at Temple work. I have an active Temple Recommend - but I haven't been to the Temple in over three years. It doesn't fit into my schedule. What a lame excuse! I am overweight and have trouble going through the endowment ceremony. Hmmm - another pretty lame excuse. And genealogy? I haven't done much on it for years. Too busy, too many other things on my plate. Hah! If I have had time to play all those computer games - I definitely had time to work on genealogy.
I have a gut feeling that if somebody was to give me a list of all the 'commandments' we are supposed to be keeping, that I would find myself woefully lacking in most of them. In fact, I probably should start making a list so I know where I stand (although that's a rather depressing thought).
I DO have a testimony of the atonement of Christ and his love for us - and the restoring of the true gospel by Joseph Smith. However, I think my testimony definitely needs strengthening, and I think I need to get to know our Savior a whole lot better than I know Him now.
Well, baby steps first. Yesterday I attended all three of my church meetings. I guess part of my reluctance is I feel a bit like an outsider (we do call ourselves the 'Addams Family' of the ward), although that is my perception, not theirs. There was a family being baptized later in the afternoon, and although Tim didn't want to go ("One of the boys is a real jerk and I don't like him") and Bill was unavailable (napping), I went by myself. I pretty much sat by myself, and left right afterwards (still feeling a bit out of place), but the main thing is that I was THERE. I gave my miniscule bit of support to the husband, wife and four sons who were baptized that day.
There is a Stake Temple night on Wednesday, September 7th - and I'm going to see if I can get that night off from work. That would be a good way to get back into going to the Temple. I have purchased the latest edition of Family Tree Maker, as well as downloading the latest version of PAF, so theoretically I can start working on my genealogy again. I am rereading the Book of Mormon using the on-line service. This is my second time through (I'm only in 2nd Nephi), but I'm caught up for the moment. I'm reading a chapter a day.
I still need to work on the Sabbath Day holy thing, and my prayers are pretty lame. It astounds me when I read about people praying for a couple of hours. If I manage over 5 minutes, I'm doing well.
Speaking of prayers, let me add a bit of humor here. Yesterday at the end of Sacrament Meeting, Brother Andersen got up to give us the number for the closing hymn, and then added "And our closing prayer will be by Megan Dargan". First I'd heard of it! I almost thought that I hadn't heard him right. But the big grin on his face told me that he was really enjoying my surprise. Apparently whoever they had originally chosen wasn't there, and he had just picked somebody at random. (Or do you think the Spirit was whispering something to him?)
As you can see, I have a lot to think about, and a lot to change in my life if I'm really going to be ready when the 'Great Gathering' takes place. Actually, there's a good chance that it won't be in my lifetime, but that doesn't release me from the obligation of being ready for it.
And I still haven't played any computer games - although it's been a close thing. There are times I sit in front of the computer with my fingers just itching to click on a game icon. I would think that the one thing that keeps me from giving in is the support of my daughter in Utah. I know she would be terribly disappointed in me. But it isn't easy sometimes. But nobody promised that life would be easy.
For some reason, this has really touched my heart, and I have been giving this a lot of thought. In the first book of the Chad Daybell series "The Great Gathering", the prophet issues a call to the saints to just drop everything in their lives and assemble at campsites that have been set aside for this purpose (hence the title - the Great Gathering). While many of the saints do just walk out of their homes with the bare necessities, abandoning jobs and possessions, many more do not. At the time the economy seems to be great, and it seems to be just an alarmist call.
As I am reading this, I am thinking to myself - "Well, I would totally do whatever the prophet said. We would definitely go off to the camp. We wouldn't be one of those people who rationalized such a commandment away."
And then, as I read through the "Thief in the Night" book, I became aware of just what is really required of us. It isn't to pick and choose which commandments we would follow. It is to follow ALL of them. Would I really just drop everything to rough it in a camp when I can't even discipline myself enough to go to my church meetings? After all, attending our church meetings is a commandment too. Sure I'm tired after working the night before, but is that really a good enough excuse? If it is, then I am sure that I could find all kinds of excellent excuses for not following the prophet's orders.
How about keeping the Sabbath Day holy? I actually gave a Family Home Evening lesson on this recently, but things haven't changed very much. I'm not playing computer games on Sunday anymore, but that is more because I am not playing computer games at all for the moment. (More on that later)
And lets look at Temple work. I have an active Temple Recommend - but I haven't been to the Temple in over three years. It doesn't fit into my schedule. What a lame excuse! I am overweight and have trouble going through the endowment ceremony. Hmmm - another pretty lame excuse. And genealogy? I haven't done much on it for years. Too busy, too many other things on my plate. Hah! If I have had time to play all those computer games - I definitely had time to work on genealogy.
I have a gut feeling that if somebody was to give me a list of all the 'commandments' we are supposed to be keeping, that I would find myself woefully lacking in most of them. In fact, I probably should start making a list so I know where I stand (although that's a rather depressing thought).
I DO have a testimony of the atonement of Christ and his love for us - and the restoring of the true gospel by Joseph Smith. However, I think my testimony definitely needs strengthening, and I think I need to get to know our Savior a whole lot better than I know Him now.
Well, baby steps first. Yesterday I attended all three of my church meetings. I guess part of my reluctance is I feel a bit like an outsider (we do call ourselves the 'Addams Family' of the ward), although that is my perception, not theirs. There was a family being baptized later in the afternoon, and although Tim didn't want to go ("One of the boys is a real jerk and I don't like him") and Bill was unavailable (napping), I went by myself. I pretty much sat by myself, and left right afterwards (still feeling a bit out of place), but the main thing is that I was THERE. I gave my miniscule bit of support to the husband, wife and four sons who were baptized that day.
There is a Stake Temple night on Wednesday, September 7th - and I'm going to see if I can get that night off from work. That would be a good way to get back into going to the Temple. I have purchased the latest edition of Family Tree Maker, as well as downloading the latest version of PAF, so theoretically I can start working on my genealogy again. I am rereading the Book of Mormon using the on-line service. This is my second time through (I'm only in 2nd Nephi), but I'm caught up for the moment. I'm reading a chapter a day.
I still need to work on the Sabbath Day holy thing, and my prayers are pretty lame. It astounds me when I read about people praying for a couple of hours. If I manage over 5 minutes, I'm doing well.
Speaking of prayers, let me add a bit of humor here. Yesterday at the end of Sacrament Meeting, Brother Andersen got up to give us the number for the closing hymn, and then added "And our closing prayer will be by Megan Dargan". First I'd heard of it! I almost thought that I hadn't heard him right. But the big grin on his face told me that he was really enjoying my surprise. Apparently whoever they had originally chosen wasn't there, and he had just picked somebody at random. (Or do you think the Spirit was whispering something to him?)
As you can see, I have a lot to think about, and a lot to change in my life if I'm really going to be ready when the 'Great Gathering' takes place. Actually, there's a good chance that it won't be in my lifetime, but that doesn't release me from the obligation of being ready for it.
And I still haven't played any computer games - although it's been a close thing. There are times I sit in front of the computer with my fingers just itching to click on a game icon. I would think that the one thing that keeps me from giving in is the support of my daughter in Utah. I know she would be terribly disappointed in me. But it isn't easy sometimes. But nobody promised that life would be easy.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Bigger problem than I thought
Well, today is officially my seventh day without computer games. In one sense, I have done very well. I have not played a single computer game for the last six days. In another sense, I have been able to re-identify my problem.
Apparently, it's not just computer games that is the problem. It is time-wasting. I still spend the majority of my time sitting in front of the computer. However, instead of playing games, I read about things on Wickipedia, or buy things (which isn't good considering we are trying to cut back on spending), or just aimlessly surf the web.
If I'm not actually on the computer, I am playing card games, doing puzzles in my puzzle book, or reading (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but time-wasting nevertheless).
Things aren't totally dismal, however. I have gotten some things accomplished this last week that I probably wouldn't have. I wrote another 'fairy' story for my granddaughters, and have two more planned out in my head. I went through a lot of knick-knack boxes and got rid of a bunch of stuff. I planned out a FHE lesson about genealogy, and have now downloaded PAF for my new computer (and am going to be buying a new edition of Family Tree Maker).
So I may be getting back into genealogy.
I also sorta started looking at my stamp collection again, and I realize that it is an absolutely HUGE temptation sitting there.
I haven't gotten a supplement since about 1994, and each supplement runs a little over $120. I find I have an itch in me to catch up on the supplements, which is really STUPID because I would be buying over $2000 worth of blank pages (since I have bought very few stamps in the meantime). Since each supplement is the equivalent of a volume - I would have to buy binders too (another $700) to add to the 27+ I already have.
As a time and money-waster, the stamp collection is ideal!
Also, for the last two Family Home Evenings, we have played extremely complex and interesting games. "Arabian Nights" is one of them,
and "Star Trek Expeditions" is the other one.
I'm not really sure we got the rules straight, but both of them could be played as a solo game, and another part of me is itching to set one or both of them up and play them. Another great time-waster, although it wouldn't cost any money.
Obviously just cutting myself off from computer games is not going to be the final answer. I am going to need to discipline myself in other ways. I would welcome some suggestions.
Apparently, it's not just computer games that is the problem. It is time-wasting. I still spend the majority of my time sitting in front of the computer. However, instead of playing games, I read about things on Wickipedia, or buy things (which isn't good considering we are trying to cut back on spending), or just aimlessly surf the web.
If I'm not actually on the computer, I am playing card games, doing puzzles in my puzzle book, or reading (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but time-wasting nevertheless).
Things aren't totally dismal, however. I have gotten some things accomplished this last week that I probably wouldn't have. I wrote another 'fairy' story for my granddaughters, and have two more planned out in my head. I went through a lot of knick-knack boxes and got rid of a bunch of stuff. I planned out a FHE lesson about genealogy, and have now downloaded PAF for my new computer (and am going to be buying a new edition of Family Tree Maker).
So I may be getting back into genealogy.
I also sorta started looking at my stamp collection again, and I realize that it is an absolutely HUGE temptation sitting there.
I haven't gotten a supplement since about 1994, and each supplement runs a little over $120. I find I have an itch in me to catch up on the supplements, which is really STUPID because I would be buying over $2000 worth of blank pages (since I have bought very few stamps in the meantime). Since each supplement is the equivalent of a volume - I would have to buy binders too (another $700) to add to the 27+ I already have.
As a time and money-waster, the stamp collection is ideal!
Also, for the last two Family Home Evenings, we have played extremely complex and interesting games. "Arabian Nights" is one of them,
and "Star Trek Expeditions" is the other one.
I'm not really sure we got the rules straight, but both of them could be played as a solo game, and another part of me is itching to set one or both of them up and play them. Another great time-waster, although it wouldn't cost any money.
Obviously just cutting myself off from computer games is not going to be the final answer. I am going to need to discipline myself in other ways. I would welcome some suggestions.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Prayers needed, please.
Yesterday I forced myself to sit down and face some hard, cold facts. I have actually mentioned this before, but I am aware that my addiction to computer games has gotten way out of hand.
I recently implemented a new schedule so that I could get up earlier to share dinner with my family, and then do scripture study with them. Afterwards, I would read to Bill until I left for work. Now, this new schedule really depends on my getting to bed a lot earlier than I am used to. And last week didn't go so well. Why? Computer.
I would get home about 7:30 and spend the next 2-3 hours playing games on the computer - before doing anything else. I have been watching over my Guild Wars characters as if they were my children. I have been protecting my house from zombies by planting all kinds of cool plants that shoot peas, spikes, fumes, etc. I have been matching tiles in Mah Jong.
By the time that I would finally stop playing games and do the necessary things before going to bed, it would be 11:00 or 12:00, and as I am getting up at 5:30 - that wasn't giving me nearly enough sleep. I nodded my way through work most of the week.
But the most shameful of all is the fact that I would play these games every day. EVEN. ON. SUNDAY. A week ago I gave a Family Home Evening lesson on keeping the Sabbath Day holy, and when I came home this Sunday morning, I actually refrained from using the computer. But when I got up and found Tim and Bill watching a movie, I weakened. Tim found me playing Mah Jong and vigorously defended his right to watch a "family" movie if I could play "non-violent" games on Sunday. Not a very good example, I'm afraid.
I have so many projects that I would love to work on. I need to write the next installment for my granddaughters and their 'fairies'. I have a play to write (the songs are written, I have the plot, I just need to put it all down). I have cross-stitching to do (sorry Daisy - I WILL get your cross-stitch done before you graduate from High School). I need to organize my photos. I need to do genealogy. I need to come up with some new recipes because the family is getting tired of chili, pot roast and orange chicken.
Oh, I can justify playing games. I do work hard during the week. It's a 45 minutes commute each way, and I put in 8+ hours at work, five nights a week. Playing games is a relaxing way to unwind from the stress of work. However, it's just like potato chips for me - I can't do just 10 minutes. If I get started, I'm on the computer for hours.
So I had a talk with the Lord yesterday and told him that I'm going cold turkey on playing games. I worry about my Guild Wars characters, but they will patiently stand in whatever town I've left them in - for eternity if necessary. The zombies will lurk around my 'house' waiting for a chance to get in, but the house is locked up for now - no admittance. Even the Mah Jong tiles will lie there unshuffled.
I am under no illusions that this is going to be easy for me. Breaking an addiction (and it IS an addiction) is never easy. So I am asking for your prayers to help me out. When you consider all of the troubles and problems in the world today, an addiction to playing games on the computer may seem pretty minor for prayers, but it really is a big deal in my world and I need the help. Today is day one. I'll report back next week to see how it goes.
THANKS!!!!!
I recently implemented a new schedule so that I could get up earlier to share dinner with my family, and then do scripture study with them. Afterwards, I would read to Bill until I left for work. Now, this new schedule really depends on my getting to bed a lot earlier than I am used to. And last week didn't go so well. Why? Computer.
I would get home about 7:30 and spend the next 2-3 hours playing games on the computer - before doing anything else. I have been watching over my Guild Wars characters as if they were my children. I have been protecting my house from zombies by planting all kinds of cool plants that shoot peas, spikes, fumes, etc. I have been matching tiles in Mah Jong.
By the time that I would finally stop playing games and do the necessary things before going to bed, it would be 11:00 or 12:00, and as I am getting up at 5:30 - that wasn't giving me nearly enough sleep. I nodded my way through work most of the week.
But the most shameful of all is the fact that I would play these games every day. EVEN. ON. SUNDAY. A week ago I gave a Family Home Evening lesson on keeping the Sabbath Day holy, and when I came home this Sunday morning, I actually refrained from using the computer. But when I got up and found Tim and Bill watching a movie, I weakened. Tim found me playing Mah Jong and vigorously defended his right to watch a "family" movie if I could play "non-violent" games on Sunday. Not a very good example, I'm afraid.
I have so many projects that I would love to work on. I need to write the next installment for my granddaughters and their 'fairies'. I have a play to write (the songs are written, I have the plot, I just need to put it all down). I have cross-stitching to do (sorry Daisy - I WILL get your cross-stitch done before you graduate from High School). I need to organize my photos. I need to do genealogy. I need to come up with some new recipes because the family is getting tired of chili, pot roast and orange chicken.
Oh, I can justify playing games. I do work hard during the week. It's a 45 minutes commute each way, and I put in 8+ hours at work, five nights a week. Playing games is a relaxing way to unwind from the stress of work. However, it's just like potato chips for me - I can't do just 10 minutes. If I get started, I'm on the computer for hours.
So I had a talk with the Lord yesterday and told him that I'm going cold turkey on playing games. I worry about my Guild Wars characters, but they will patiently stand in whatever town I've left them in - for eternity if necessary. The zombies will lurk around my 'house' waiting for a chance to get in, but the house is locked up for now - no admittance. Even the Mah Jong tiles will lie there unshuffled.
I am under no illusions that this is going to be easy for me. Breaking an addiction (and it IS an addiction) is never easy. So I am asking for your prayers to help me out. When you consider all of the troubles and problems in the world today, an addiction to playing games on the computer may seem pretty minor for prayers, but it really is a big deal in my world and I need the help. Today is day one. I'll report back next week to see how it goes.
THANKS!!!!!
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