No, I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol. I don't frequent casinos or gambling halls. I don't chug cough syrup or overdose on prescription medicine. Those are 'hard' addictions. But there are other addictions that are called 'soft' addictions because they don't (in general) adversely affect your health. But they do eat up huge amounts of time and become compulsive.
I am a computer addict. I have suspected this for some time, but now it has crystalized into a certainty. I don't surf the Internet, or spend my time shopping on line (although I do buy things occasionally). I like playing games. In fact, when I'm home and not sleeping, I am usually in front of the computer.
Now, there is some justification for my playing games on the computer. I work graveyard shift five nights a week - with almost an hour commute in each direction. The money I earn from my job supports the entire family. I pay all the bills, handle the finances, do all the grocery shopping and cooking, and usually do the dishes as well. You would think I would be entitled to a little play time on the computer.
The operative word here is 'little'. When I sit down at my computer, I immediately start playing. Oh, I'll take a break to briefly check my emails, or pay a bill on-line, but most of the time I am glued to the screen taking my latest Guild Wars character on a quest, or solving puzzles.
Lately I have been neglecting things that I really need to get done in order to have more 'screen time'. My husband is really very patient about it, but I can occasionally feel waves of disapproval rolling off of him. He tends to reserve meals and bedtime for recreation, and spends the rest of his time frantically working. The fact that a lot of what he does seems a bit useless (in my opinion) is irrelevant. In his eyes he is NOT wasting time. I am. And I freely admit it.
They say that the first step to beaking an addiction is admitting you have one. I obviously can't stay totally away from the computer as I use it for financial reasons, but I think I'm going to have to get a timer and set limits on myself for playing. This will be a grave disappointment to my daughter and grandson - both of whom think of screen time as something equivalent to the Holy Grail. They are thrilled to see me doing what they love to do. It might appear to be some sort of justification for them.
Whew! I feel better getting that off my chest. It left me feeling a bit exhausted, so maybe I'll just relax and play a computer game for a little while . . .
